Kids Just Know

Kids just know. Don't get in a "name the fag" contest with a 12 year-old boy, and expect to win. I assume you're reading this blog--and not some developmental psychology textbook--because you want the truth, so here goes: gaydar, the ability to spot a queen at a distance, reaches its peak in the male at the onset of puberty. Sadly, few middle-schoolers (bless their little hearts) have bought my latest book, Queers: A Field Guide. They don't need to; most of them could of written the thing! Don't believe me? Listen to playground chatter during recess, and you'll hear even obviously straight children, whom you might assume would have better things to do, debating the fine points of gay culture. One boy might remark to another in response to some subtle gesture or witty turn of phrase, "that's so gay." Pay attention, because inevitably their commentary is spot on. I know all this because I used to be a 12 year-old boy myself. At the end of my 8th grade year we ritually took stock of one another. John was voted "class clown." Brian got "most likely to succeed." And me? "Most likely to suck cock."