Almighty Narcissism

Happiness is a contract with God. God agrees to bring good stuff into your life. You agree to notice. It's simple: no gratitude, no goodies. Personally, I don't get why God's so concerned about what me and fellow members of my species think of him, why he's so hung up on being praised all the time. He even wrote the book of psalms, love letters to himself, in case we need a little verbal prompting. I mean can he really be so insecure, so high maintainance? What's with the endless demand for acknowledment-- the constant hallelujah this, hallelujah that? You'd think if anybody wasn't angling for a pat on the back it would be the almighty! Now I understand why all those nuns, who are symbolically married to the dude, don't look so pleased. I'd be sour too. A personal relationship with the divine narcissist in the sky must be a bit taxing. Better, I'm thinking, just to buy a dog.