My dad used to brag about how he'd be ok if I grew up to be a garbage man. Unlike his mom (that social-climbing devil in a dress whom he despised, and I would too if I knew what was good for me), he valued happiness over prestige. May I just say: bullshit. As a highschool student, I told him about my plan to be a psychologist, and we argued. Why not a psychiatrist? Psychiatrists are medical doctors, isnt that better? I tried to explain that I had no interest in treating seriously crazy people with meds as psychiatrists do. My interest lay in helping everyday neurotics like himself. (Years later he changed his mind when he was forced to shell out big bucks to hire a psychologist to testify in one of his murder trials.) News flash dad: you've grown up to be just like your mom. I remember how she used to criticize him for being a lowly trial lawyer. Surely he could of been a judge! More prestige, more money....wouldn't that be better?
As a family, we're smart, professional, and empty inside—a motley group of disgruntled psychologists and lawyers beating ourselves (and each other) up for not being psychiatrists and judges. I give you our family mission statement....
Whatever you do, do it well. Be the best. The more success, the more recognition, the more happiness! You might be rich, beautiful, or popular...an athlete or an artist—doesn't matter as long as you get credit. The point, always remember, is to be praised.
I've learned alot from my family about life. Everything turns on the question of love, and where you look for it—inside yourself or from other people. We're social beings, but as sources of love and fulfillment, other people suck. Trust me, if you'd like to be happy you can do better than running around trying to convince everybody you're worthy of their love and approval. I'll gladly hire someone to fix my plumbing or clean my yard, but when it comes to loving me, I'm a committed do-it-yourself-er! Most of us get to the point when success no longer satisfies anyway. Everything we thought we knew suddenly seems so wrong. Depression sets in, as the doorway to conventional success-driven happiness slams irrevocably shut. We havent yet learned how to climb through the open window of joy! Conventional happiness depends on constantly acquiring more...more money, fame, accolades; joy gives it all away. Conventional happiness is a beautifully dressed, if somewhat self-conscious, woman everyone admires; joy a little girl who, oblivious to everyones astonished gasps, strips naked and runs laughing down the street.
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